I would still be playing those words over and over

Saving each; letter by letter.

I would still be holding on to that idea

Keeping it open; keeping it growing.

I would still be reasoning not to lose heart.

Stitching each cut not minding how it bled.

I would still be clinging to each selective attention

Savoring the little, zooming it out of proportion.

I would still be putting the puzzle

Chiseling the very edges

I would still be in blind surrender

Laying it all naked; pouring everything in.

I would have stayed.

If I never knew

But I’m still here..

Oh, how I wish I never knew.