I've been there and i know too well how shitty it was.

I refuse to be just a chess piece played; but i am.

It has been several days past since we last hanged out. Although we are under no obligation to regularly see each other, it just doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to demand time but seeing her near and not being able to be with her just makes me miss her more.  Luckily, it dawned on me an instance when she e-mailed about this freebie in CBTL. It gave me a reason to see her! Mustering every ounce of confidence I have, I messaged her.

J: busy ka ba? sana hindi

S: a little, im finishing this up. wats up?

J: mgtsaa naman tayo. ay ikaw lng pala.. il drink something else..

S: hehe, un freebie natin?

J: haha hindi totoo yan..

S: totoo daw sabi nung friend ko!

J: ala control number..

S: na-try daw nya! haha, dun naniniwala ako pero sayo hindi no? hehehe

J: i just find it hard to believe. e baket jan di mo ginamit ung skepticism mo.. hmmmp! selective skepticism!

S: o cge na, mr. auditor show-off

J: hahahahha

S: mas madali maniwala pag maliit ang risk

J: o di sige print mo try natin..:)

Funnily, we went there with the coupon printed by the whole page. I still kept on telling her that this can just be a joke(to lighten up the conversation) since there were no control numbers and the spelling of the "valid until" has not been really that convincing.  We approached Caj, the barista at that time, asking if he might have heard the free CBTL tea latte coupon spreading over the e-mail. He started by explaining that there are a lot of people claiming such freebie at their store everyday which is actually more than in any other and not before long, I came to realize it was for real.

After grabbing our drinks and a pastry, we settled there and talked about stuff like the activity she'd be having with her friend later that night, my plans in working someplace else, how work has gotten to her, some trivial thoughts that pop in our minds every now and then, and her take on giving out someone’s trust easily and in holding back from the lack of it. She expresses that building trust just doesn’t happen overnight and it takes a lot of her to trust. I was drawn by the way she speaks her mind out trying to comprehend every bits and pieces of what she has to say. Before I knew it, we have extended our tea break to more than it should. We rushed back to the office having more questions in my mind but feeling less empty. After that conversation, I realized that I shouldn’t mind too much where our relationship of sort is leading to. Just like when she’s having her hot tea latte or me having my caramel mudslide for that particular matter, is to simply savor each sip and feel the moment of sheer affection as it unfolds right before our very eyes.

That night, before we parted ways, it caught me by surprise when she let me kiss her goodbye on the cheek. She was with her very close friend then which kept me wondering that it has really got to mean something.